Miller’s Scotland Blow

Kenny Miller has today dealt the Scottish national team major a blow in declaring “I won’t retire”, at a press conference ahead of Wednesday’s crunch fixture against Luxembourg. Despite being being dropped from… Continue reading

Herbert Determined to Bring Shakur to Justice

Outspoken legal eagle Peter Herbert, has today called upon deceased hip hop star Tupac Shakur to stand trial on charges of intent to incite racial hatred. Shakur, of Harlem New York, rose to… Continue reading

Holmesdale Fanatics say ‘NO’ to Winning

Crystal Palace supporters group ‘the Holmesdale Fanatics’, have voiced their anguish over the team’s current form following yet another emphatic win. Despite back to back losses in their first four games, this early… Continue reading

New Evidence in Clattenburg ‘racism’ Allegations

Exclusive footage, taken from Sir. Alex Ferguson’s pocket, has revealed that a frank discussion between referee Mark Clattenburg and a number of the Chelsea playing staff did take place. Wedged beside a flask… Continue reading

Steven Gerrard to be Taught ‘how to count more good’

Intense speculation this evening suggests that Liverpool are set to send club scarecrow, Steven Gerrard, to a ‘Key Stage boot camp,’ in the hope that he will gain the basic numeracy skills required… Continue reading

Chelsea and Manchester United Fans Clash in ‘Ugly’ Scenes

Eyewitness reports described the “scenes of bedlam”, that engulfed Surrey in the wake of the hotly contested derby day fixture between Chelsea and Manchester United at Stamford Bridge. Mild disagreements, which are said to… Continue reading

Wilshere Hails ‘Respectfully Quiet’ Emirates Crowd

After making a return to first team action following lengthy absence, Arsenal star Jack Wilshere has spoken of his delight to be once again playing in front of the Gunners’ faithful. In the… Continue reading

EXCLUSIVE: Jason Roberts is a Premier League Footballer

Sources close to forgettable pundit and infamous t-shirt shirker, Jason Roberts, have today revealed that he is actually a Premier League footballer. Having recently made headlines as Britain’s most outspoken anti-anti-racism campaigner, it… Continue reading

Tottenham Given Bale Warning Signs

Months of building work on an infantile chimp enclosure, attached to Welsh wing sensation Gareth Bale’s house, was a clear indication that the Tottenham star was expecting a new arrival according to a… Continue reading

England Found Guilty of ‘Playing Whilst Black’

Following on from Tuesday night’s Under-21 fixture, which was marred by controversy at the final whistle, England and Serbia have been reprimanded by UEFA with charges pertaining to the conduct of both nations.… Continue reading