BREAKING: Bale to Leave Spurs in World of White Hart Pain

Gareth Bale has today sent a shock wave through North London by not announcing a desire to leave Tottenham Hotspur Football Club. Following a summer of supposed interest from Real Madrid, Barcelona and… Continue reading

Outcast Mata Headed for Chelsea Exit Door

Juan Mata’s future at Stamford Bridge was last night thrown into doubt, after reports have emerged that new old boss José Mourinho is open to offers for the classy, Spanish international. Speaking exclusively… Continue reading

England U-21s Ready for ‘Step Up’

Following a pointless exit from the Under-21 European Championships in Israel, fans and pundits alike are united in the sentiment that England’s youngsters are ready for the big time. The highly praised English… Continue reading

Life Without Football

Leading researchers from Staffordshire polytechnic have today published studies that reveal “life without football is shit.” Following the close of the football season, several test subjects were tested for increased levels of boredom,… Continue reading

Martin Samuel Comes Out as Barton’s Biggest Fan

After a decade spent lurking in the shadows of denial, alpha-male football journo Martin Samuel has stepped out of the closet in what has been described as a ‘watershed moment’ in British sporting… Continue reading

Redknapp Loudly Unconfident at Task Ahead

Football Boglin (H)arry Redknapp, has today spoken to the press gathered outside of Loftus Road, following his appointment as Q.P.R. manager. Swiftly named as the successor to Mark Hughes, following the Welshman’s dismissal… Continue reading

Di Matteo Out Rafa Benitez In at the Bridge

Following a 3-0 loss to Juventus, and subsequent exit from the Champions League, Roberto Di Matteo has been axed as manager of Chelsea. Owner Roman Abramovich yesterday took the decisive action of culling… Continue reading

The Case Against Lionel Messi

Lionel Messi this evening moved within touching distance of Gerd Muller’s record of most goals scored in a calendar year, following a brace in Barcelona’s 3-0 Champions League defeat of Spartak Moscow. Messi,… Continue reading

Stan Collymore Jokes at an ‘All Time High’

In the aftermath of England’s 4-2 drubbing at the hands of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, sources nationwide are reporting that Stan Collymore jokes are at an all time high. Workplace ‘banter’ is said to be… Continue reading

Suarez “That was for Patrice”`

Liverpool striker Luis Suarez is once again courting controversy after today dedicating his near leg breaking challenge on Chelsea defender John Terry, to former foe Patrice Evra. Terry, who was playing in his… Continue reading