Fan relieved by FA Cup exit

A fan of a club is relieved that he no longer has to worry about the FA Cup derailing his side’s otherwise tepid season, after they were eliminated this weekend.

With fixture congestion rife, the perceived burden of additional cup games has been known to cause consternation amongst supporters, but the fan is delighted that this will no longer be an issue.

“This is where I’m supposed to say ‘it’s a shame to be knocked out of the running for a major trophy’ but I don’t really think that.

I don’t even buy that it would be a ‘great day out’ going to Wembley. The ticket would cost a bomb, as would the booze and food, and the atmosphere is always crap. 

We wouldn’t even win it, and no one actually cares about it anyway. I never feel remotely jealous when I see another side do it, genuinely. If anything, the whole media rhetoric around the competition is delivered with all the tact of a BNP flyer. It’s uncomfortable.

Way I see it, we concentrate on the league, try and finish a couple of places higher than we did last season, and hopefully we can bring in a bit more cash for the summer.

Chances are we won’t spend substantially on transfers, and it’s next to impossible that we’ll ever challenge for real trophies, but we might at least get some decent financial graphs that we can pretend to understand and use in Twitter arguments.”