Holmesdale Fanatics say ‘NO’ to Winning
Crystal Palace supporters group ‘the Holmesdale Fanatics’, have voiced their anguish over the team’s current form following yet another emphatic win.
Despite back to back losses in their first four games, this early consistency has since been patchy, with a dismal series of wins and draws now seeing the South London side unbeaten in twelve.
With their team sitting atop the Championship, a disgruntled member of the ‘Ultras’ fan movement has spoken out;
“Supporters have lost sight of the fact that football isn’t about winning. It’s singing with your mates, having a few beers and hurling sexual swear words at the other lot.
“No one cares about a load of people turning up to support a team that’s actually playing half decent, you just look like a bellend. You ever met a decent Man United fan?”
Protests outside the ground have been planned for the next home game, with rumours of an en masse season ticket burning as the Fanatics demand action from the board in fear that the club’s recent success could lead to a worrying growth of a middle class ‘element’.
“We’re dangerously close to the leafy suburbs here, last thing we need are a load of mugs showing up because they couldn’t get tickets for the rugby.”
Co-owner Jeremy Hoskings has been particularly bemused by the upturn in the club’s fortunes;
“Don’t ask me how it’s happened. Originally I thought I was buying a load of concrete dinosaurs and a massive television aerial, what the shit else is there in Croydon?”