Chelsea and Manchester United Fans Clash in ‘Ugly’ Scenes

Football Violence; Long way from dead

Eyewitness reports described the “scenes of bedlam”, that engulfed Surrey in the wake of the hotly contested derby day fixture between Chelsea and Manchester United at Stamford Bridge.

Mild disagreements, which are said to have involved raised voices and “colourful language”, first erupted on the 18:35 from Wimbledon to Guildford.

Incidents of gentlemen not offering up seats for ladies, casual chattering on mobile devices in the quiet carriage and feet on seats are amongst the many documented acts of public disorder.

The trouble moved alongside the crowd, with numerous Waitrose branches in and around the County area seemingly targeted by football thugs hellbent on engaging in gratuitous, post-match spending sprees. 

Brenda, a retired secondary school teacher from Esher, was caught in the middle of one of these clashes.

“It was disgusting, really shocking stuff. I just popped in for a few particulars and the next thing I know there’s a sea of waxed Barbour jackets and hooped supporter scarves. They left the shelves barren, not a sourdough flute or grilled artichoke heart in sight. Very inconsiderate.”

A Surrey Police spokeswoman today described the carnage as “the most disgruntled the county has been” since a Parma ham shortage hit residents in 2004.

The FA is to launch an independent inquiry into the two clubs and the conduct of their supporters.