Hodgson’s Rank Disapproval


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Following on from their 5-0 victory over minnows San Marino in a World Cup Qualifier at Wembley stadium last night, England have been widely criticized for turning in a remarkably lacklustre performance.

Pitting their footballing prowess against the lowest placed team on the FIFA ladder, many were hoping for a cricket score, but a lack of cohesion and innovation amongst the England team has raised question marks over the ability of the current crop of players.

Charging to his side’s defence, England boss Roy Hodgson has spoken out to dispel the notion of an ‘easy fixture’.

“Rather a lot was made of the standard of our opposition, whether we should or shouldn’t be competing against the so called lesser nations for a place at the world cup.”

Pausing to reposition a skin flap obstructing his view, he continued.

“Let’s get this straight, ranking means very little when it comes to the big day. You can rank, and rank away to your heart’s content, but the problem is that the rankers aren’t the ones out on the pitch on match day. Some days we have a good rank, other days a not so good rank. It shouldn’t be about getting joy from ranking though, it’s about scoring. We know that we can score, whether we’re ranked well or not.”

For some reason unbeknown to this reporter, the England manager faced no further questions, as the press conference descended into a gaggle of sniggers and scoffs.