Randy Krayes: Olympic Correspondent

Reporting from a rugby stadium in Wales is Really Like Football’s chief Olympic correspondent Randy Krayes, keeping you abreast (tehe) of the Team GB football Ladies campaign, which kicks off today.

RLF: So Randy, what’s the atmosphere like in the stadium ahead of the kick off of the games?

RK: Well pal, there’s a real buzz down here. The sun is shining, Union Jacks are waving in the breeze and the young ladies are warming up on the pitch. Proper morning glory, if you know what I mean?

On the scene

RLF: Can’t say we do Randy. Randy, tell us, does Hope Powell appear to be implementing any special training routines?

RK: Usual stuff really, running about, cone slaloms, pass and move, shooting, bobbing, weaving, bouncy bouncy, in, out. Lovely scenes.

RLF: Right, so  do you have any inkling as to what tactics Team GB might be employing against the Kiwis, who have been marked as a dark horse for the tournament?

RK:  Last I heard, they’re still struggling to come to terms with the offside rule. Let’s not confuse the little angels eh? Just joshing, don’t get your knickers in a twist girls.

RLF: Now Randy, keep it friendly. Speaking of friendly, any update on the facial injury that star striker Rachel Yankey received in the warm up match with Sweden?

RK: Not the first facial that she’s…

RLF: Randy please, keep it professional!

RK: Sorry. Well it seems as though it’s not stopping her from playing today, there might be a light spot of bruising however. Not to worry though, you don’t admire the mantelpiece when you’re poking the fire after all?!

RLF: Have you actually had any interaction with the ladies Randy? What’s the general mood like in the camp?

RK: Well mood is the operative word. Let me just say, from the chats I’ve had with them you’d think Arsenal were playing at home, not Great Britain.

RLF: Not quite sure what you’re implying there Randy, but moving on. Who would you earmark as your one to watch for Team GB during these Olympics?

RK: Without a doubt, having Kelly Smith back in the fold is a major plus. Long legs, nice tits, cracking arse, she’s got the lot. Take a bow luv… preferably right in front of me.

RLF: Randy!

RK: Well I’m just saying… out of ten, I’d give her one!

RLF: Just before we bring this to a close, do you have anything remotely constructive to say Randy?

RK: At times like this, when the whole world comes together under one flag, you just need to take a step back and ask yourselves…women’s football, really? Go home and make hubby a sandwich luv.

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