Allardyce keen to see Kean in court

West Ham manager Sam Allardyce has instructed his solicitors to begin legal proceedings against his former club Blackburn Rovers and successor Steve Kean.

Although little information about the High Court case has yet been made available, sources close to the Allardyce camp report that the matter centres on a possible copyright infringement.

Battle of bollocks

The source has said “What we witnessed at Blackburn last season was nothing short of plagiarism. Uninspired tactical decisions, unambitious formations, predictable, poorly timed substitutions, not even a hint of moderate to fair tackling employed, I mean, the list goes on.”

It is believed that Allardyce’s legal team have compiled a ‘highlights’ reel in which their client and Steve Kean’s tenures are compared. The video is said to show a distinct lack of flair, ingenuity or any attacking move comprised of more than two short passes in succession.