Maradona’s Disunited Arab Emirates

Following a disastrous league campaign for Dubai based Al Wasl, Diego Maradona has been sacked from his role as manager with immediate effect.

Last month saw the resignation of the entire board of directors as the UAE side finished 8th and without a single trophy to show for the club’s significant financial outlay.

The club have been quick to issue a statement; “Following the considered, sound and most definitely, unquestionably correct judgement of club chairman Major General Dr. Mohammad Ahmad bin Fahad, Diego Maradona shall be executed, following an unacceptable level of performance this season.”

“Let this be a warning to those who come to our land in search of our many riches. The UAE Pro-League is not just a final pay day for soon to be retired superstars and failed national coaches. These ingrates should feel honored to be gracing the same playing surface as our many former greats. Greats such as the majestic Fahad Abdulrahman, the gallant Zuhair Bakheet or the wise Mohamed Salim Al Enezi.”

The club later retracted the statement and seemingly called off the execution, opting to sack the former Argentinian great instead.