AVB’s Tottenham Pigeon Steps

Tottenham fans are this week a flutter, after Chelsea reject Andres-Villas Boas washed up at the North London club to unite a match made in heaven. On one side, a one-season-wonder, famous for participating in the Europa League. Whilst on the other, Andres-Villas Boas.

What could go wrong? After the matey, arm around the shoulder, “go out and f**king express yourselves” Harry Redknapp approach, who better to conduct the cerebral superpowers of Aaron Lennon and Jermain Defoe than the man who so successfully conducted the cerebral superpowers of John Terry and Ashley Cole?

One might suggest that AVB keep it simple. Maybe start with Pro Evo or, even better, sock puppets. Then, once they’ve grasped the basics (tying shoe-laces and putting bibs on), bring in the high defensive line, the offside trap, and the high tempo pressing game.

What could possibly go wrong?